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Xdance with me in tragedyX
23 September 2004 @ 12:35 am
x= have done
/= kind of.

[x] been drunk.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[x] kissed a member of the same sex.
[ ] rode in a taxi.
[x] been dumped.
[ ] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[x] been in a fist fight.
[x] had sex.
[ ] had a threesome
[x] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[x] made out with a stranger.
[x] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[x] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school.
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[x] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[ ] had a quinceanera.
[x] drove illegally

Do you...
[x] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[x] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[ ] hate yourself.
[x] think you're attractive.
[ ] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[ ] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to soul.
[ ] listen to techno.[electronica]
[ ] listen to reggae./ska
[x] paint your nails.
[x] have more than one best friend.
[x] get good grades.
[ ] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[x] wear boxers.
[x] wear underwear in general
[ ] wear thongs.
[ ] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[ ] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber. (lmfao)
[ ] claim.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[ ] have long hair.
[x] have short hair.
[ ] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager. (Somewhere in my box of stuff from junior high)

Are you...
[ ] ugly.
[x] pretty.
[x] bored.
[x] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[x] asian. (..hah)
[x] short.
[ ] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[ ] a virgin.
[x] lazy.
[ ] single.
[x] taken.
[ ] looking.
[x] not looking.
[x] talking to someone.
[ ] IMing someone.
[x] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[x] sleepy.
[x] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[/] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[/] in your room. (in brian's room..basically my room hah)
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[ ] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[ ] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic
[ ] racist

---

<3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
20 September 2004 @ 11:20 pm
i seriously don't think my life could get any worse.

work sucked hardcore. we had to serve these perverted old air force guys and a couple of them wouldn't stop touching me and flirting with me. it was sickening. i wanted to vomit. this one old guy is all talking about kidnapping me to the bahamas and this other guy is like "you better watch it, her husband will beat you up." and i'm like..damn straight he will =P and this other dude dropped money on the floor and said it was for me. so i bent over and picked it up and they all giggled and i was wanted to kill them all. but whatever. i hate the quiet birdmen. they're so obnoxious.

so start driving home and i'm almost here and it was fucking raining super hard...and i guess i was in the fucking turning lane and didn't realize it and the light was green..so i was toodling along and POP there was a FUCKING MEDIAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD AND I FUCKING HIT IT AND TOOK OUT MY FUCKING TIRE as well as my FUCKING WHEEL AND EVERYTHING ELSE ASSCIATED WITH THATL 20983RJAOPWIEJR-2LKSEJ SLKJDFWEJK omg. so i get out of my car after waiting a half hour for the rain to stop. it didn't stop but i decided to make my trek home anyway because it was nearing 12. so i was like..whatever. my life sucks. my life is a dark room. my life is *enter whatever negative word and the word fucking and you have my life*.

***

update:

so brian came over and i cried. a lot. we went to go put a donut on my car and i drove it home. bleh.

and then he made me some food and all was good. except the fact that my car looks like a retard mobile..but it could've been so much worse than it was. i guess it ended up with me somehow being in the turning lane...because the road does this zigzag thing and i couldn't see shit except the green orbs..and i was going like 45 mph which was retarded anyway since i couldn't see anything. and i freaking nailed that median. like woah. i felt like a fucking asshole. i thought it would've cost me like $200 to fix..and brian seems to think it'll be more along the lines of $25 instead hah. =P so woo. i guess.

and now it's late and i'm going to fucking bed.

<3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
18 September 2004 @ 06:02 pm
worked today..the party was some kind of dance club deal. ballroom style. i decided it was pretty sweet and i want to do it too! they wear these really flowy, pretty dresses and high high heels. how can you dance in high heels? i don't know, but i'd like to O_O

i was sent home early along with shaun. i guess there was too many people working tonight. i don't mind too much, i think i have enough hours this week. i could've made the beast feel bad. but i didn't. i wanted to leave. i'm so exhausted. >_<

tomorrow i have to work an hor derv party with shaun. i should be out by 4..and the best part is, the beast isn't there! w3wt xD

meh. my eye is starting to get un-swollen finally. now it's just...wart looking O_o i'm like..great..>_< but atleast it's not red and puffy anymore. i looked diseased x_X

and i'm finally getting over this damn cold.

wee. anyway. i have some reading to do.

<3<3

ps: i looked at some screenies for WoW...omg..i can't wait until it comes out!! sooo cool. <3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
17 September 2004 @ 06:22 pm
went to publix and bought food--and i spent too much. or maybe i'm just overly paranoid about spending ANY money right now? i'm not sure, but i am sure that i have to eat. bleh. damn tummy.

roy unblocked me. so today i im'd him and said:

me: i see you've unblocked me.
him: i unblocked everyone.
me: gee, and here i thought i was special =P
him: heh.

we had a short convo before i had to do some cleaning. i wonder why i feel so entrigued by him? silly little angel boy--he isn't the angel i thought he was--the angel is who i hoped he was. but i can't shake the habit of referring to roy as "the angel" or "my lost angel". what can i say...with each cold word uttered, my heart freezes the deeper to him...and almost over the hole which he tore out. so long i wished i wouldn't have driven him away--but he IS gone from me for all time.

i'm so melodramtic. heh.

what can i say about brian but i adore him? that he's the most kind, giving, caring individual i've ever met? he's not a weakling in heart like the above ^^. i wouldn't find a better boyfriend/husband if i tried. again, what can i say but i adore him? and that if you believe in fate, we were truly meant for one another. <3<3<3

mushhyyy mood.

<3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
17 September 2004 @ 11:48 am
my tear duct is still swollen. i don't know what's wrong with it.

i'm still sick with a hacking cough.

and i have a bleeding vagina.

i'm poor.

i'm tired all the time.

does it sound like i'm complaining? because damned if there isn't ANOTHER hurricane that the weather channel thinks is going to hit us. that means no work AGAIN. which means i have no idea what the hell i'm going to do. right? right. bloody FUCKING hell. skaljdf903aklsf. i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.

i also feel like getting a job elsewhere. but i have no idea where. blagh. i don't want to be a f00king waitress/server/anything to do with working in a resteraunt/fast food place. *sigh* i still want to put in my app at tjmaxx. *discounts* even though i wouldn't make shat. >_< or beall's. but i'm not classy (eh ehlrehhheheheeheh) enough for that. maybe hot topic? a new one just opened up in meritt square..but i bet it's flooded with many a ickle teenage angester application. ...insert HAH here.

basically, i don't know what the hell i'm going to do..=(

</3
 
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
17 September 2004 @ 11:47 am
Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...erotic
Your hugs are...warm
Your eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...the only thing I desire
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...entrancing
Your love is...eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!


heh <3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
15 September 2004 @ 09:47 am
ahhhhh my eye hurts.
son
of
a
bitch
last night it was kind of sensitive and of course i couldn't stop poking at it. and today it's like painful when i blink. but it's not the eye itself or the inside. it's the outside corner, by my nose. it's all pink and puffy. (but not the inside, so i know it's not pink eye) grawr! now i feel all squinty and such.

i haven't been up this early in ages. i think i need to make a habit of it. sleeping in until 1 every day just isn't cool anymore. </3 work today. i'm going thrifting before work. bwaha. i'm in need of a shower. <3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
15 September 2004 @ 12:28 am
we went to cool stuff games tonight.

both of us lost. and i decided that i might not play drafts anymore. because i haven't gotten that much better and i feel like it's a total waste of time/money. so i believe i'll let brian go tuesday nights to orlando by himself and i'll take my $9-18 and go thrifting instead. bleh. *is disgruntled*

bleh indeed. it didn't help being tired/sick/grumpy/cold either.

now i'm watching my hunneh play some armored core 2. it looks fun! i might start playing >=D

work tomorrow!!!!! finally!!!! and work saturday. wewt. it's sad when you're actually excited to go to work. need to see what everyone is up to =) and i hope it's a big party. that would be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. (more money xD)

<3<3<3
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
14 September 2004 @ 03:47 am
w3wt  
i went to the thrift store today and bought some goodies. i was so pleased with my finds. <3<3<3 i need to take new pictures, but for the longest time i've felt like a big fat ass..and big fat asses aren't very photogenic _>
-_-;;;
so i basically blew my wad (hahaah...alskdfj93) until i get my next paycheck. gah. (which won't be this week, but the following thursday...x_x)

tomorrow night is the magic draft at cool stuff games. i don't know if i'm going to play, but i know i'm going to atleast watch brian so he won't be lonely =).

i'm out.

<3
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: *coughs* silence. O_O
 
 
Xdance with me in tragedyX
14 September 2004 @ 03:35 am
<_<  


i can't help but feel my life is an endless cycle of the same nothingness. i don't take too much enjoyment out of anything anymore, and what i'd like to do i feel unable to undertake. i'm completely content with life until i sit down and evaluate the situation. i realize that right now i'm at a standstill. i'm neither coming nor going. i watch everyone else's happiness and linger in my own long enough to grasp a taste..but then i throw myself in the same old loop and begin to question why i'm here.

*sigh*

i wish i had more friends here. i love hanging out and being with brian, but sometimes i feel lonely even when he's around. what's sad is the pathetic feeling i get when i realize that i might never have another person in this area to call "friend" again. i seclude myself and drive everyone i love away. another seemingly endless cycle.

so i make these observations and know that i've said these things countless times before and made no immediate action to change anything.

and so here i sit in a darkened room with my love sleeping next to me, waiting for the rush of loneliness to ease so i can return to my silly, sad little world and pretend that everything is fabulous. because eventually, you start believing it.

***
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: >_>